On the way home

I’m in Kentucky right now, about 60% of the way home. I had to scrounge some free wifi to plan a new route since my plans changed, or I’d be another hundred miles down the road instead of sitting in a hotel parking lot.

Should be home some time tomorrow. I want to keep going until I’m in PA tonight, but with this delay I doubt I’ll manage that.

Despite last minute problems, I was discharged from the Army on 27 May 2009. Good thing that adventure is over. I still don’t quite believe it, but as I slowly am recognizing the freedom I have back, it’s becoming more real to me.

I don’t know when the hell they plan on paying me my final paycheck. My end of month pay was canceled, and the only reason I have any money at all is the kindness of my parents in giving me a short term loan. How the fuck do they just kick you out of your barracks, final you out of the military, and cancel your last paycheck all in three days while you’re 2200 miles from home? Thanks army. Fuck you too. Give me separation orders five days from the time I find out that yes, I am in fact getting out of the army, and another three work days to clear thanks to the holiday, and bam I’m out. Eight days to prepare to ship all of my worldly goods and drive for three days across America, when I should have had about forty days to get ready total.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I’m out now instead, and I’m alright because my family is cool, but I know lots of other guys that would be, and some who were, totally screwed over by that short time frame and a no-warning cancelled paycheck. That’s typical US Army all the way.

Fuck you, Army.

Here I sit, in the Biggs Air Field minimall, trying to download the last piece of paperwork I need before I can receive my separation orders, and the fucking server is down. For the second day in a row.

I need my fucking ERB. Incomplete as it may be, at least it finally has all my awards, and I’m not turning in the wrong ERB to the transition office. My ERB lacks my deployment record.

The army personnel system is a crock of fucking shit. I don’t have a single set of orders from anything that has happened in my career since Airborne school (2005) in my OMPF, which is supposed to be your complete personnel file, and something you can rely on if you lose your hard copies of your orders. But my CIB, ICM, AGCM, ARCOM, and deployment orders are not in there. Luckily I have copies of everything but my deployment orders, which I never received. Ever. Not before and not after. Why? Because my unit was fucked up before, and afterwards I was in the last group of soldiers to get back, and our leaders decided they’d rather go home for Christmas than take care of their soldiers. So I can’t add those to my ERB and nobody in my chain of command seems to give a fuck about that, so they won’t even reconstruct the orders or do anything to help me out.

My S1, the personnel actions guy, is totally worthless. It’s not really his fault; our chain of command won’t provide him with the proper equipment to do his job. He’s also a private, and I had to walk him through what I wanted from him because he didn’t know what most of it was. That was yesterday, when I spent three hours at S1 trying to get various files and forms and ended up getting nothing because the accepted method in my unit is to download the file from S1, e-mail to another fucking computer, and print it on a printer attached to that second computer. To access the e-mail, you have to go through an irritable SSG who is busy and probably won’t be around to open his e-mail for you when you need your shit. Why doesn’t S1 have his own printer, you ask? Who the fuck knows. Ask the commander.

Now, I’ve managed to find the stuff I need on AKO, although I have to fill out the forms again. Why didn’t someone tell me ahead of time I would have to do all this shit, anyway? I started my MEB back in February, and there was no mention of finding a way to get a DD93 or SGLV or PERSTEMPO until I walked into transition yesterday with my separation memo. The separation memo gives you two days to get into transition with everything you need. Two days working with a shitty S1 and an indifferent chain of command is potentially not enough time.

Finally, I just got my ERB from e-mail from my S1. I’m no longer quite so homicidal. I came really close to putting my fist through the screen about a half hour ago. So reading this, you can get an idea of how efficient and caring the army is. To any soldiers out there, track your shit, even if you’re busy, because trying to get it all squared away at the last minute is a huge pain in the balls and might not even be possible if your chain of command doesn’t cooperate.

I’m off to fill out a bunch of forms and maybe finally get the fuck into transition. I could be home as early as the end of the month, which would be sweet, and about two weeks earlier than I’d thought I would make it. Terminal leave should start next tuesday, after the four day. Sooner, if things in my unit keep being fucking retarded. It’s getting really bad in Rear D now, with the BDE acting sergeant major micromanaging all the battalions and having about six formations a day.

Blogging is still on hiatus until I get back to New York. There’s no internet in the new barracks, see. I just needed to vent.